Toilet Tissue with Heart

This fitbit news is interesting and a bit of a mystery, but the greater mystery might be about the first person who placed a fitbit on a roll of toilet tissue, and why that person did so. Perhaps a drop of a fitbit into a toilet and a subsequent attempt to quickly dry it led to this important discovery. As to why toilet tissue, bananas,, produce a heartbeat, I can only speculate that because toilet tissue is made from trees, a form of life like bananas, that there is still life in toilet tissue, and thus something resembling a pulsation, which a fitbit reads as a heartbeat. If animism is true, then all things in the universe are alive, even toilet tissue. Too bad fitbits weren't around when the Tinman in the Wizard of Oz was seeking a heart, for a gift of a fitbit may have convinced him that he indeed did have a heart.